Need to talk to someone now? Call the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) 24-hour hotline on 1767, text CareText on WhatsApp 9151 1767, or call the national mindline on 1771. In an emergency, call 995.
Quick answer. Self-harm is when a person deliberately hurts themselves as a way to cope with overwhelming emotional pain or distress they don’t know how else to manage. It is usually a sign of deep distress rather than an attempt to end life – though it must always be taken seriously, because it shows someone is struggling and can raise risk over time. It affects people of all ages, and often begins in the teenage years. Importantly, self-harm is something people can and do move beyond: with understanding and the right help, things get better. If someone has seriously hurt themselves or is in immediate danger, call 995 or go to A&E.
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In a medical emergency, or for severe or sudden symptoms such as breathing difficulty, chest pain, fainting or stroke signs, call 995 immediately.
Self-harm is more common than many realise, and it is almost always a signal of pain rather than a bid for attention. Meeting it with calm and compassion – not shock or judgement – is what helps someone reach for support.
You are not alone. If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, please reach out – help is available and things can get better. In Singapore you can talk to the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) 24-hour hotline on 1767 or through CareText on WhatsApp, the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) mental health helpline, and the national mindline on 1771 or at mindline.sg. If someone has seriously harmed themselves, is in immediate danger, or is thinking about ending their life, call 995 or go to A&E straight away and do not leave them alone. A GP is also a good, confidential first step.
What self-harm is (and isn’t)
Self-harm means intentionally hurting oneself as a way to deal with emotional distress, painful memories, or situations that feel overwhelming. It is best understood as an outward sign of inner pain and a way of coping – not a character flaw, a phase, or a bid for attention. Many people who self-harm feel real shame and go to great lengths to hide it, which is one reason it can stay invisible for a long time. It is distinct from a suicide attempt, and for many people it is not about wanting to end their life. That said, the two can sometimes be linked, so any self-harm should always be met with care and taken seriously. Approaching it this way – as pain that needs understanding, rather than behaviour that needs correcting – opens the door to help.
Why people self-harm
The reasons are deeply personal, and a person may not fully understand their own at first. Framed with compassion, common ones include: to release or get relief from intense, overwhelming emotions; to feel something when everything has gone numb; to feel a sense of control when life feels chaotic; to turn emotional pain into something that feels more concrete or manageable; to express feelings that are hard to put into words; or out of self-blame and low self-worth. Often several of these overlap. Self-harm frequently sits alongside other difficulties such as depression, anxiety, trauma, bullying, loss, relationship strain, or periods of intense stress. Understanding it as an attempt to cope – however painful – rather than as something deliberately hurtful helps loved ones respond with warmth instead of alarm.
Understanding without judgement
People who self-harm are usually carrying genuine pain, and many feel guilt or shame about it. Fear of being judged, misunderstood, or told to “just stop” can make someone withdraw further and keep their struggles hidden. A calm, caring, non-judgemental response does the opposite: it tells the person they are safe, believed, and not alone. You do not need the perfect words. Simply listening, staying kind, and treating the person – not just the behaviour – with respect can be the first step towards them accepting help. There is no shame in struggling, and reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Signs someone may be struggling
Because self-harm is often hidden, loved ones may notice broader signs of distress rather than anything obvious. In general terms, these can include unexplained injuries or frequent “accidents”; covering up more than usual or avoiding certain situations; becoming withdrawn from friends, family, or activities they used to enjoy; noticeable changes in mood, sleep, appetite, or behaviour; low self-esteem or being very self-critical; and expressing feelings of hopelessness, being a burden, or that things will never improve. None of these on their own means someone is self-harming, and it is not your job to be certain. If you sense a person is struggling, that is reason enough to gently reach out, ask how they are, and let them know you care and are there for them.
Getting help – and what helps
Self-harm is not a life sentence, and support genuinely works. A good first step is telling someone trusted – a family member, a friend, a GP, or a school or workplace counsellor – who can help the person feel less alone and connect them to further support. A GP or polyclinic doctor can listen confidentially and, where helpful, refer on to mental-health services. Psychological therapies, such as talking therapies, help a person understand what triggers their distress and build healthier, more sustainable ways of coping. Treating any underlying depression, anxiety, or the effects of trauma is often an important part of recovery too. With professional guidance, many people also develop a personal safety plan – a simple, individual plan of warning signs, coping strategies, distractions, and people to contact – alongside gentler alternatives to turn to when distress peaks. Recovery is rarely a straight line, and setbacks are a normal part of it rather than a failure.
Supporting someone who self-harms
If someone confides in you, how you respond matters more than getting every word right. Stay calm and try not to show shock, anger, or disgust, even if you feel frightened – strong reactions can make a person feel worse and more secretive. Listen without judging, and try to understand the feelings underneath rather than focusing only on the behaviour. Take what they share seriously, reassure them that they are not alone, and gently encourage professional support without pressuring or rushing them. Avoid ultimatums, shaming, or demanding they “just stop,” as these tend to increase secrecy and shame. Stay connected over time – a steady, caring presence helps. Supporting someone can be emotionally heavy, so look after your own wellbeing too, and reach out for support for yourself if you need it.
Hope and recovery
It is important to hold on to this: people do move beyond self-harm. With understanding, patience, and the right support, individuals learn to recognise their triggers, find healthier ways to cope with difficult emotions, and address the pain underneath. Many go on to feel more in control and more hopeful about the future. Progress may be gradual, and there may be difficult days along the way, but recovery is real and possible – and no one has to face it on their own.
Getting help in Singapore
If you or someone you care about is struggling, please reach out – support is available and confidential:
- Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) – 24-hour hotline on 1767, and CareText on WhatsApp 9151 1767 for those who prefer to text.
- National mindline on 1771, and mindline.sg for free support and self-help tools, any time of day.
- Institute of Mental Health (IMH) – mental health helpline for support and guidance.
- CHAT – a youth mental-health service for young people who would like to talk things through.
- Your GP or polyclinic – a confidential first step that can connect you to further mental-health care.
When to seek emergency help
Treat it as an emergency if someone has seriously hurt themselves, needs urgent medical attention, or is at immediate risk of harming themselves or ending their life. In these situations, call 995 or go straight to the nearest A&E, and do not leave the person alone. Reaching out in a crisis is always the right thing to do – you are not overreacting, and help is available.
Frequently asked questions
Is self-harm the same as wanting to end one’s life?
Not usually. For many people, self-harm is a way of coping with overwhelming emotional pain rather than a wish to die. However, the two can sometimes be linked, so it should always be taken seriously and met with care and support.
Is self-harm just attention-seeking?
No. Self-harm is almost always a sign that someone is in real distress and struggling to cope, and it is very often hidden rather than shown. Responding with compassion, not judgement, is what helps.
Can people recover from self-harm?
Yes. With understanding and the right support, people learn healthier ways to cope and do move beyond self-harm. Recovery is genuinely possible, even if it takes time.
What should I do if a loved one tells me they self-harm?
Stay calm, listen without judgement, take it seriously, and reassure them they are not alone. Gently encourage professional support, stay connected, and look after yourself too. If they are in immediate danger, call 995 or go to A&E and do not leave them alone.
Related mental-health topics
- Schizophrenia
- Postpartum psychosis
- Social anxiety disorder
- Health anxiety
- Borderline personality disorder
- Body dysmorphic disorder
- Gambling addiction
- Alcohol use disorder
- Grief & bereavement
- Anxiety & depression
- Psychiatrists in Singapore
- Psychologists in Singapore
Sources
- NHS — self-harm: self-harm as a sign of distress and coping, not usually suicide; getting help.
- Mind UK — reasons people self-harm and how to support someone, framed with empathy.
- IMH / CHAT (Singapore) — youth-focused self-harm information. National Youth Mental Health Study — self-injury in SG youth (a study, not an official national rate).
- Samaritans of Singapore — 24-hour hotline 1767 and CareText 9151 1767. MOH — national mindline 1771.